Because today I realized I’m a proud parent, well in a manner of speaking. No Evil, I did not receive an indignant alimony letter from Sri Lanka, at least not yet, well hopefully never…I think…I hope….
Brief but rambling introduction
Well I digress, greatly, so let me start from the beginning. Many, many moons ago, when the world was young, tectonic plates were still ashifting and I had my mojo intact, I decided on the spur of the moment, with a yearning for my halcyon days spent with my arms and sometimes my head in a tank or a pond, to raise some shell dwelling cichlids. Why? I honestly have no idea; it just seemed a good idea at the time.
Unfortunately many things combined to crush this dream in the early stages of setting up the tank and cycling and getting it ready for its finicky inhabitants; including amongst other things an extended ‘vacation’ to Sri Lanka, the losing of my mojo, a sojourn in San Francisco and the pickling of my liver. Most of the people who visited the house and eagerly peered into the aquarium were alternatively dismayed and amused by what they found inside:
A lone danio resolutely circling what looked like a watery recreation of the goby desert with an expanse of white sand and a few majestic looking limestone rocks. You could almost hear the poor guy muttering to himself, “this is all a dream, this is all a dream. You are going to wake up and be back in the tropical river you love, with Mrs.Danio stretching languorously next to you…this is all a dream.” In my defense I did try and provide the poor chap with some company but I was evidently shopping in the stupid section of the pet store. Every danio that I put in with him somehow managed to get stuck in the filter and die a horrible death. Either they were all exceptionally moronic or the original danio was exceptionally murderous.
New beginnings
A few weeks ago though, resigned to the fact that I would be stuck in suburbia for the next few years I figured I would make the most out of it and resurrect my tank. A spot of research and I settled on Kribensis, which seemed relatively low maintenance for an African cichlid (my favourite type of fish) and sufficiently colourful enough to keep my simple mind entertained. So off I went to the fishstore, supplemented my sand with some black gravel, got a new filter, plastic plants (real ones are a pain in the ass) and some new lights. I also hopped down to Home Depot to get some clay pots that I buried in the gravel/sand in order to provide the ‘caves’ the Kribs like for their cribs.
With the tank all suited and booted off I pootled to the fishstore to obtain a pair of Kribs. I was armed with the information that one sexes Kribs by noticing that the male Krib has more of a chin that the female. Now maybe someone out there who knows more about fish than I do will correct me, but I will be damned if I have ever seen a fish with a chin, have you? The chap at the fishstore looked at me blankly when I asked him if he knew to sex Kribs and then a bit suspiciously at me when I asked him to catch me the male with the gruffest moustache and the female with the sylphest waist. Obviously fishstore people do not have much of a sense of humour.
Female Krib above and male one below, anyone spot a chin? (from here)
With what I thought approximated a pair of Kribs, four danios to accompany the psychopathic loner that I had in the tank and an algae eater I repopulated my tank. True to form one of the danios promptly threw themselves under the aquatic equivalent of the train and I had to clear his mangled remains from the filter. The original danio did however look suspiciously smug as he watched this process, I still don’t trust that bugger. Anyways life in the tank progressed, the algae eater got the shit beaten out of him by the Kribs, who also ignored all the lovely little caves I had painstakingly made them and put up home in a hole in the limestone rock that conveniently faced the back of the tank. Animals I tell you! They did start to colour beautifully though, with the female especially becoming more ovoid with a wonderful cherry red belly, the male’s chin grew day by day. The new danios circled in the upper reaches of the tank while big Danio alternatively looked wistfully at them and at the filter.
The Kribs are breeding! The Kribs are breeding!
All was quiet on the tankern front until I walked past the tank today. I gave it my usual quick look over hoping to see Mr. Big coercing one of his smaller peers into the filter. What I did see however gave me some pause for thought. It initially appeared that I had two female Kribs. On closer inspection however it looked like both the female and male had turned a similar bright colour and were inordinately defensive over one of the plastic plants. On closer inspection I was delighted to see that in the privacy of their limestone cave both Mr. and Mrs. Krib had been consummating their relationship with gusto, the end result being a small crowd of fry swimming around pecking at the plant and being guarded jealously by the parents.
Krib with fry (from here)
Me being the naturalist that I am I pulled a chair to the tank, heated up my dinner and diverted the fan to said chair. This last exercise earned the wrath of the pooch, who had been peacefully reclining on the floor enjoying the cool breeze. Upon deprivation of his aeration he raised an eyebrow and glared at me balefully out of one eye. With a snort of annoyance he got up, waddled over, nipped my ankle (to let me know who’s boss) and curled up at my feet. I went back to eating and avidly watching the Kribs and their progeny.
Both parents were absurdly protective but the male was also incredibly moronic. He noticed me peering into the tank, charged through the rocks and proceeded to have a kaleidoscopic epileptic fit against the glass. I was less scared and more intrigued by the display. He got into the habit of wandering around to the other side of the tank on a regular basis and beating up one of the Danio’s, mid beat-up he would glance over, realize I was still looking, leave the befuddled Danio and treat me to a seizure. In the interim the much more serious female kept the fry in a closely bunched huddle and led them around the tank to feed. I felt very David Attenboroughish watching all this, the Danios twirling around in the top of the corner, the male Kribi alternatively getting into a fight and having seizures while the female led her troop over the tank and the fry pecked at the tank debris.
I must admit I am very proud of my two horny Kribs, two weeks and already they’ve made me a grandpappy. I am still a bit worried about the fry either getting sucked into the filter due to their miniscule size or being coerced into it by Mr. Big because of their naiveté. Fingers crossed they should grow up into mini-Kribs soon and I can hand off some to N, whose fish had collectively decided to emigrate to his filter, possibly on being tipped off that Hale-Bopp was going to be seen again. I’m not entirely sure what it is with fish and filters, but then fish aren’t exactly the Einsteins of the animal world.
