I’m open minded, not sure I’m this open minded though

Thankfully this statement, generally delivered in a disapproving tone is rarely directed at me. Well it may well be directed at me when I’m not around but I sincerely hope not. The statement with its disapproving tone is generally uttered by a female friend or family member. What’s surprising when it’s uttered by the family members is that my family is internationalized to say the least, there are French, Welsh, English, Black, American members of the family as well as someone who I think is a Czechoslovakian, though I could be mistaken with religions ranging from Buddhist, Catholic, Protestant, Born Again (my personal favourites because of the utter craziness exhibited) and even a Muslim. 

But for all this UN-like multiculturalism, there appears one thing the ladies in the family have an aversion to and that’s Sri Lankan guys. This is especially true for the Sri Lankan girls who were born in Sri Lanka but have lived here for some time. And the aversion is also shared by a number of female acquaintances I have of Sri Lankan origin. I think it’s almost subconscious on some of their parts because they start bitching out the species in front of me and appear quite surprised when I, naturally, put my hand up and protest.

The sad truth is though, the reasons they give for their dislike seem to be true, that they are insecure and controlling. I personally have my doubts that this is a solely Sri Lankan attribute but I have seen a number of Sri Lankan guys who do fit the bill of controlling. They don’t like their girls dressing nice, going out by themselves, working, making more money than them or on some memorable occasions they attempt to hit you over the head with a pool cue for talking to them.

I’m a bit peeved with this though, both the generalization and the behaviour of the said chaps. For one thing the former means that a lot of brown girls simply dismiss me out of hand because I’m brown. Sure tell me to fuck off because I’m arrogant, cocky and have an inappropriate sense of humour (though this list is far from exhaustive) but at least let me piss you off with my attitude as opposed to the colour of my skin and the expectations that arise from it. 

Also I’m pissed with the guys, they need to chill out for one. I personally like an independent woman, one who works, has friends to hang out with and does her own thing. Primarily because I have so much crap going on in my life and don’t foresee that changing for the next couple of decades that I don’t have a lot of time to devote to a relationship. Also if she goes out with her mates then I can go out with my friends and I don’t really mind the gf flirting a bit, because then I can. 

The key element in a relationship is trust, she has to know that even though I may flirt (lets be honest, sometimes it helps getting stuff done, from getting tickets changed to real estate records recorded) I would never, ever do anything more (unless I run into Jessica Alba, then all bets are off), and I would expect the same for her. Else I wouldn’t be (hypothetically speaking) in the relationship. Also I prefer the girls I’m with looking sexy, for one thing I’m easily bored and the better she dresses the less I have to drink (I’m kidding, no I really am) and she can dance, flirt with anyone she wants, because at the end of the day she’d be coming home with me, while all the poor sods who thought they were getting some have to go home to their cold, lonely beds. The best part of course is that while she dances with some other guys that leaves me to have a chat with the buddies and try and deplete the national reserves of Reserve.

So in short I have two appeals, one is to the anal retentive guys (Sri Lankan and others), chill out…you’re giving guys like me a bad name and reducing my chances of getting hitched (or laid for that matter) to a nice brown girl. And to the girls, give a brown guy a break, I’m chill, I really am. Also I have absolutely, absolutely no problem with you making more money than I do…if you’re worried about that.