RandomJune 29, 2007 9:48 pm

There is something so disconcerting about seeing the whites of someone’s eyes in a car that is hurtling towards you. It was hardly my fault (I think). For one thing I could have sworn she had her left blinker on and she was in the left turning lane. I was more concerned with traffic taking a right turn on the unprotected junction that I was taking a left turn on. She was also hurtling along the road, which people usually do when they are trying to hit the turn on a yellow light and not go straight on a yellow light when there are cars waiting to turn.

Unfortunately she was going straight.

I braked, she swerved. We locked eyes in a rather disconcerted stare. She was actually quite pretty, in a blonde, beachy, Barbie doll way. I’m sure I cut quite the dashing figure too with my mouth wide open and eyes wild with fright.

Thankfully we missed each other by a few inches, both too scared to even horn.

I came back, changed my pants, wished for a stiff drink, thanked the various Hindu, Christian and Muslim gods, threw in a pagan animalistic ceremony for good measure (I tried to sacrifice a virgin but they’re pretty rare these days)…and went in for my next meeting.

Random 6:10 pm

Hora post from wade….Vegas for the weekend. Order of the day/weekend:

  • Given up on lost cause, thanks Evil for taking care of the last bit of string.
  • Checked in for flight (why does Southwest always give me B’s when I check in early doors? Incredibly frustrating).
  • Get to said flight in time to check in a bag, otherwise with the new TSA regs I’ll have to throw away my hair gel…again…
  • Customary sleep on the flight to be jolted awake by the customary Southwest landing. Schedule chiropractor meeting due to said Southwest landing.
  • Have dinner with the sibling, get filled in on how she’s enjoying the move and help her out with her naturalization papers. Give her some pointers on avoiding scenarios that may lead to deportation (since I currently am the regional expert on that).
  • Maybe meet up with the Vegas birthday bunch or alternatively continue hanging out with the sibling, hit a bar and get silly drunk. Foresee a cab back to the Hilton at some point in the night.
  • Sleep the sleep of the happy drunk on Saturday. Try not to be disconcerted at sharing a room with P, N’s friend who I’ve never met before.
  • Party party-starter style on Saturday night in ‘celebration’ of N’s birthday. Try and dig some latent mojo out to chat up some cuties (drink copious amounts to help make the uncuties, cuties).
  • Make the most out of the saying ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’
  • Stay resolutely away from Blackjack tables and strip-clubs, no money to waste this time.
  • Bemoan at various times of the night the lack of a quality wingman, i.e. R, to aid in the cutie chatup.
  • Sleep the sleep of the shot-down (yet happy) drunk or engage in mindblowing sex, depending on how the night goes.
  • Drive back with N and S on Sunday to get back on the rat-race.
Now, stop blogging, get back to work and churn those eight billable hours out. Blah.
California, RandomJune 25, 2007 1:04 am

Spending last Saturday wandering around San Francisco reminded me how much I miss the place; it’s just such a crazy, weird place, European in its bohemianess and American in its liveliness. On my way to the Civic Center I passed a transsexual, Asian hooker hugging a parking meter and chatting up a bemused tourist. It would have been a brilliant photo opportunity if I had my 70-200mm attached and being in a very dodgy neighbourhood prevented me from switching lenses without being a possible mugging victim. Shortly afterwards I passed two people smoking crack in the confines of a small car in the middle of the day on Van Ness. Again would have been a good photo opportunity but they may have shot me if I had tried. Discretion above valour is something I value.

Of course nothing beats my first trip to Shaky Town what seems eons ago in 2003. It seems like yesterday but Chinky Pinky, R and I were so different back then. R was just starting his obsession with PKS, I was coming off a 2 year relationship that ended up on an earth shatteringly sour note and I think CP was in the same boat. CP and I had driven up to see R and we decided to book a room in the City and party it up. With our absolutely non-existent local knowledge we booked a room in the Tenderloin district.

That first bus ride down to Pier 39 will always be one of my more fond memories of the City. R, CP and I planted ourselves at the back and started to have one of our usual random conversations. About five minutes in an overwhelming odour of urine started to permeate through the bus. Initially thinking that it was emanating from outside none of us paid any heed but the smell kept getting stronger and stronger and eventually we peered down the bus in consternation. 

Halfway down was an old Chinese man whose trouser leg was soaking wet and a puddle off pee dribbled around his shoe. Three of us exchanged slightly concerned looks, R especially with his lack of experience with big city crazies had a bit of a wild gleam in his eyes (I was pretty calm after having had enough of this kind of experiences after three years living in London). Things started to get a bit ugly then when a mean looking kalu baduwa in front of the old guy turned around and started cussing him out. She yelled at him for a few minutes and then got out at the next stop.

It was then that I had to start wondering what I had been drinking the night before. The old man started muttering to himself in Thai or Vietnamese. He continued getting himself more and more worked up and to top it off started spitting. What really gave us pause for thought was not that he was just spitting, but that his spit was green, a fluorescent green. I swear at that point R grabbed my hand in fear; I still hope to this day that it was CP’s hand he intended to grab and not mine. The crazy old guy continued alternatively spraying radioactive waste around and swearing incomprehensibly. A few stops later he thankfully shuffled off the bus leaving a mélange of odours and three very shocked brown people behind. 

I’m going to take a wild guess and say I would have been the one to break the silence with an inane comment but R and CP were too far gone to say anything. Of course after all this excitement one would have been forgiven to assume the rest of the trip would be sans too much more excitement. Alas, it was not to be. There was a chap in the front of the bus who could have been kindly described as being a bit overweight, well overweight somewhere in the region of a couple of hundred pounds. He was busy reading a paper which as the bus jolted to a stop he dropped. A few things then happened in rapid succession, he bent over to get the paper, the bus lurched again and his grey trackpants fell around his ankles. Unfortunately in his haste to get out the door in the morning Mr. Fatty appeared to have forgotten a vital item of clothing. So CP, R and I were treated to a real life San Franciscan, gigantic kalu ass. What was even more disconcerting was that he seemed more interested in picking up his paper than his pants.

At the next stop the three of us got off.

MusicJune 24, 2007 6:07 am

Well not like it’s a series on this blog or anything but I just came across an awesome band on the old iPod. Dubstar, a British Indie dance (now that’s a genre I have never heard of before!) that was formed in 1992 and disbanded in 2000. I happened to have two albums, Disgraceful and Goodbye on my iPod and Not so manic now popped up one morning. Absolutely brilliant stuff, very dreamy and synthesizy, very early-mid nineties, all in all excellent stuff and I highly recommend them for a good chill session.

Because I’ve been up here for a while
I’m starting to feel the monotony of the tower block
I’m not so manic now
I can uphold the weight of those neighbours
And she’s lifting and throwing to the wall
The post-natal harmonies of youth
When this younger man, twenty-five
Advantageously took away her pride

Dubstar – Not so manic now

RandomJune 21, 2007 3:31 am

Oh-la-la…a thousand commentors..or is it commentators? Drac, you win the prize for being the lucky thousandth soul to respond to one of my ramblings. Your grand prize is a shot of Reserve (you can have some coke in it if you want) on me…preferably at Buba, at a time convenient for both of us :) .

Sri Lanka, Angst, RandomJune 20, 2007 4:52 pm

Seriously! Can someone please put a muzzle on Keheliya Rambukwella! His latest statement that he would “love to hire some hackers” is by far one of the stupidest things he has said. Yes we know you should be doing that in a strategic sense but the last thing you want to admit in public is that you are contemplating engaging in cyberterrorism. Please someone tell me that neither Keheliya nor Gottabhya have children, because the prospect of these stupid genes being propagated puts me in a depression.

 

My future vision of Sri Lankan politicians, neutered

General 4:06 am

Maybe…I’m currently on the hunt for a decent LCD screen (and a photoprinter, three lenses, another laptop, etc, etc) that I can colour calibrate and start doing some heavy duty photo manipulation. So here I am blogging about trying to win a 24” wide screen LCD monitor from John Chow dot Com, a blog that helps you make money. The contest is sponsored by BlueFur, who wants to let you know that they’re hosting Canada.

So…er…fingers crossed.

RandomJune 19, 2007 4:23 am

Hmm…so I just ordered this. I can’t wait! Another toy to play with…

General, RandomJune 18, 2007 4:28 am

“Can I ask you something?” says the oddly gypsy looking lady who just handed me a flier at the Civic Center.

“Err…sure, I guess..” 

“Have you ever had a tarot card reading?”

“Can’t say I have…"

“I see something big in your future…

Like a pick up truck, a loku, kalu baduwa? Something ominously unpleasant?

“It’s too do with love.” 

I restrain myself from beating her over the head with my 70-200mm lens, not because I was scared of getting arrested but I think I’m slightly in love with the lens and value it above a leg. God knows it been more fulfilling than any girls I’ve known (bar maybe one).

“Err..ok,” and I wander off.

Obviously fortune tellers and their ilk get their wires crossed. I say this because while I was in Sri Lanka in January, the worried grandmother dragged me to a disheveled looking house somewhere down Thimbirigasya road to have my (near) future told. I think she was just wanted to make sure that unemployed and alcoholic were not to be my forte for the next few years. Or at least to get a heads up if it was. 

She was mighty pleased to hear that the worst thing in my otherwise successful life was going to be my marriage. This was funny (and to be honest slightly worrying) because my horoscope done at birth said the same thing. Of course I did balk a bit considering relatively speaking with my current quality of life (or rather lack of) it sounded like I was going to be marrying a female Attila the Hun, probably with a beard to match.

So here was this gypsy, looking at my sweaty face, saying the opposite thing. Obviously they got their information from different sources. 

Either that or the future wifey is going to be 400 pounds with a beard (and a nasty disposition).

I think I’m going to watch the booze in Vegas in the next couple of weekends.

Musings, RandomJune 14, 2007 4:47 am

Sigh…I wish I had made a good habit of always archiving my photo’s in a logical manner after every shoot. I’ve been slaving away at trying to catalogue all of my pictures and back them up on DVD and it’s a never ending task, since everything is scattered all over the place on various DVD’s. 

At least this weekend should be a good one with the prospect of being alcohol soaked up in San Francisco. Oh yeah there’s also a Filipino festival occurring at the Civic Center, should be a good opportunity to get a bit more practice with my 70-200mm…wink…wink

Just a random aside, I wish I could take a break like this fella’

Taking a break in Singapore, the technical imperfections in this picture are just amazing. Way too much DoF and horrendous composition (of the original that is). Live and learn.

RandomJune 12, 2007 4:45 am

It’s the motion of the ocean. Now I’m not one for phallic inferiority. Mainly because I never look, be it in the gym’s changing room or standing at the urinals, it’s just wrong. Ok I think this is getting a bit off-topic, time for a rapid U-turn or as the sibling so sweetly puts it, ‘flip a bitch.’ Last Saturday I woke up bright and early, admittedly not my most favourite thing to do on a Saturday but there you go. I swung by N’s place, picked his tousled head up and drove down to San Diego to visit the Wild Animal Park for a spot of photography.

Now usually wherever I go with my camera I get a few oohs and aahs, especially if I have my 70-200 F4 L (see below) which is long (hehe) and white (hmm…that just sounds wrong). I’ve even had people make way for me as they think I’m a pro, though with my usual attire of scruffy jeans, uncombed hair and flip flops I’m not sure what gives them that impression.

 

Unfortunately N blew my lens completely out of the water by renting the Sigma 50-500mm (see below). The damn thing was like a tank buster, approached Ron Jeremy proportions and made everybody in close proximity to it swoon. There was even a girl with a nice but, nice top and a questionable face (hey that’s why the phrase ‘cover the face, work the base’ was invented) who couldn’t take her eyes off it. N off course in true style couldn’t help hamming it, playing the pro. I did note with some amusement that his hands were shaking with the effort of holding the lens up, size isn’t everything I guess. 

 

Size and weight aside damn did that lens get close, 200mm felt so inadequate. After seeing how close he got I think my next purchase is going to be the Canon 100-400mm IS lens, wait no I have to buy a flash first…oh but a macro. Bugger this photography business is expensive. Mental note to eat cheerios for the rest of the year and save all my money.

Anyways to cut a rambling post short it was a fun day. I took around a 1000 pictures, groveled on the floor of an aviary to take some of a brightly coloured bird, much to the surprise of some of the park’s patrons and saw a plethora of Lamborghini’s on the drive to there and back (and almost blew my engine out trying to keep up with one, note to self: RAV4 vs. Mucielago is not really a contest…ever). N only took around 180 apparently because he isn’t as trigger happy as me, well each to their own technique I guess.

There was one grip I had and it’s a gripe I have with most animal pictures. Why do they always, always from Gerenuks to Gorillas, have to face away from the camera? I mean I’m an ass man myself, but this is not what I had in mind.

 

Sri LankaJune 8, 2007 3:58 am
There are ways to assess security and there are ways to prosecute a war. This is most definitely not one of them. For one thing the LTTE has been in the business of bombing Colombo for a long, long time. You can be pretty sure that their operatives that infiltrated during the ceasefire have damn good cover stories and a number are probably integrated in to parts of Colombo apart from the lodges. So in effect when you look at the costs of the laziness of whoever implemented this policy, they far outweigh the benefits. Sure some LTTE operatives may have been sent back but you can bet that the majority of those people were innocents. So for that price Sri Lanka has lost immeasurable respect in international eyes by violating fundamental human rights and probably not gained anything by security. Idiots reign supreme.
Sri LankaJune 7, 2007 3:55 am

As Drac so insightfully pointed out it’s only a matter of time until I get branded a subversive and an enemy of peace. So I figured I might as well accelerate the process. Currently we are waging an undeclared war against the LTTE and I’ve had to ask myself whether I support it. In truth I do. Why? Because in the short term that is the only option open to us. Some people are of the opinion that we should be angrier with the government for the alleged human rights abuses, the plight of the displaced and the general condition of the country than the LTTE.

To me that is utter nonsense. While I believe the oppressive nature of the Sri Lankan governments in times past is to blame for the rise of Tamil militancy, a cause that I have sympathy for as I have sympathy for the core reasons the JVP began their agitations there is only one group to blame for the current situation and that is the LTTE. Sometimes it is hard to see the wood for the trees, the LTTE has been given unprecedented opportunities to step up to the plate and really win the rights for the Tamil people as equal participants in Sri Lanka’s future progress both in 1996 and in 2002. Both times they singularly failed to engage in any meaningful measures to participate in any kind of process to win Tamil ‘self determination.’ 

Let us leave aside the Rajapakse regime for the time being and look at the measures Ranil’s administration implemented in 2002 as part of the CFA. The economic embargo to the North and the East was lifted, international monitors from a country amenable to the Tigers was invited and allowed complete access to areas occupied by the Sri Lankan forces. The Tiger’s were allowed to open offices in SLG controlled areas, the EPDP, etc were disarmed, Tiger emissaries were given Sri Lankan passports and their baggage was not checked when they entered the country after trips abroad. Conspiracy theorists might even brand the exposing of the Deep Penetration Units and their subsequent disbanding as part of Ranil’s appeasement approach, but that’s up for debate.

What the Tigers do in return, they started killing political opponents and intelligence officers in broad daylight in Colombo, prevented monitors from entering certain areas under their control and were singularly opposed to any discussion about the very matter of self determination that they have shed blood for decades over. Instead the acceptance of the ISGA proposals was a precondition for talks, yes people claimed that it wasn’t but that’s about as true as was the claim that the LTTE dropped their demand for a separate country. The LTTE’s ambiguous claims that they were open to discussion of the ISGA’s and that they had dopped their claim for Eelam was just that, ambiguous. Of course to this long list has to be added the assassination of Lakshman Kadirgamar and the posturing they engaged during the last attempted round of talks. The LTTE, just like in 1996 simply used the ceasefire to rearm, retrain and realaunch the conflict, that’s the truth, short and sweet. 

So in short I support the war effort now, do I think the Rajapakse regime is corrupt and tramples on human rights? Yes, but not anymore than any other of the regimes we have had in the fifty plus years of independence. The amount of money that is spent on any war invites corruption, just look at Bechtel and Halliburton’s roles in the Iraq war. War sucks, the wrong people get rich and the wrong people die while the silent majority looks on from the sidelines aghast. But the way to tackle it is not to keep asking for peace, because as nice as peace would be, with Prabhakaran at the head of the LTTE peace is impossible. War is the lesser of the two evils to tackle the short term problem, that the LTTE is intransigent to any solution that does not give their demigod his own country to run as he wants. To me Prabharan is no different from Hitler, both rose from environments of injustice and both have demanded and received unquestioned obedience and in the process have bathed themselves in blood. Trying to talk peace with Prabhakharan would be as futile as Chamberlain’s attempts to talk peace with Hitler.

So what should we do as the silent majority standing on the sidelines? I believe that instead of mindlessly agitating for peace and abstractly bemoaning the morality (or rather lack of) executing a dirty war we should be agitating for a real solution, even on paper that will look towards achieving the desires of Tamils, Sinhalese, Muslim, Burgher and anybody else who calls Sri Lanka home. A true set of devolution proposals that will give a voice and empowerment to the silent masses who have been deprived for so long in this country, that is the only way we achieve long term closure to the conflict we face now. 

In the short term we should be agitating for greater transparency in military purchases, a more pointed objective of beheading the Tigers by killing Prabhakaran. We should be agitating against the purchases of MiG29s to destroy the propeller driven pieces of crap the “Flying Tigers” possess, the overt support of Karuna (covert in my opinion is fine, after all this is a guerilla war) and turning a blind eye to child conscription the latter two which hurt us immeasurably internationally.

We have to negotiate with the Tigers, make no mistake about that, we have to bring them into the political mainstream but the only way that is ever going to happen is if we eliminate the current leadership. And for that we need in the short term, an effective, ruthless response to the Tigers. After all that is what worked for the JVP and for all the horrors that Premadasa’s response to the 1989 insurrection at the end of the day it worked. Rohana Wijeweera the charismatic leader was killed and the JVP for all its wrongs and moronicness is cavorting in Parliament rather than bumping people off in the street.

Just a point aside, before anybody accuses me of being a heartless bastard who has no issues with killing I would like to point out that I find it very hard to reconcile what Premadasa did to crush the insurrection with the end result. Especially since I have seen first hand the effects of what he did and deal with almost every time I am at family gathering. Yet the fact that it worked and crushed the military will of the JVP to me seems to me less a price worth to pay but the only option available. 

To be honest I’m not even sure what I am trying to say in this post anymore, the last thing I want is a war in Sri Lanka. I get no pleasure from the idea of carpetbombing the Wanni or the loss of young lives on both sides, lives that could contribute so much to what is truly a blessed country. Yet at the same time all the posturing for peace is not going to get us anywhere until we truly ask ourselves what price and what needs to be done to achieve that peace. The price will be the horrors of a short, intense war to remove the leadership of the LTTE and weaken them to the point where a military option is not sustainable for them. And that is a possibility if we don’t have corruption and we take the Tigers on in their own terms.

Of course all will be lost if the long term issues are not fixed, a secular devolved state is what we should be agitating for, greater transparency and freedom. That is where Premadasa failed, the climate of the lack of opportunity that gave rise to the JVP and the LTTE is still very much alive in Sri Lanka. That problem however seems a lot less fashionable to talk about than human rights abuses that result from the war, white vans and the death of morality. A morality that in fact did not die with the Rajapakse regime but died eons ago when man started killing man.

Musings, Angst, RandomJune 4, 2007 4:00 am

Have you ever felt like you’re losing it, just simply losing it? There’s this big, black, fathomless hole in front of you and slipping into it seems so tempting, giving everything up and giving up. It’s been that kind of a couple of weeks, the slog at work, the lack of normal people to hang out with, trying to hold onto something that I think I’ve already lost has all been adding up,. I’m not even sure that that’s even the problem, the problem is I can’t even put my finger on the problem but I guess it’s time to take control now. No more slipping but put out those arms and grab on. Chip my finger nails against the hard rock and try and get going in the right direction, take control. 

In other slightly less neurotic news I don’t have any official right to the nickname childof25, I still like it though and in true fashion will alternate randomly between N and childof25. I have to say it’s a bit tough being one year older and none the wiser and looking back on the last year it was one of ups and downs. A new city and a new job at the start, some new friends, losing a new friend to tragedy, R leaving to Australia, an unexpected trip to Sri Lanka, the realization that feelings aren’t that easily put past you, back to suburban hell, even more trouble putting the past behind me, a new job and currently a slight trip on the insane, dark side.

I’m sincerely hoping that the next year will be more even, but then I’ve already had a bit of a bombshell dropped on me that if not handled judiciously could have some shitty repercussions. Maybe stability, comfort are things that don’t exist, maybe this state of flux and confusion is something normal and I just haven’t learnt to deal with it yet. I guess I’ll find out.

Sri Lanka, Girls, Sex, Angst, RandomJune 3, 2007 7:45 am

 

I’m open minded, not sure I’m this open minded though

Thankfully this statement, generally delivered in a disapproving tone is rarely directed at me. Well it may well be directed at me when I’m not around but I sincerely hope not. The statement with its disapproving tone is generally uttered by a female friend or family member. What’s surprising when it’s uttered by the family members is that my family is internationalized to say the least, there are French, Welsh, English, Black, American members of the family as well as someone who I think is a Czechoslovakian, though I could be mistaken with religions ranging from Buddhist, Catholic, Protestant, Born Again (my personal favourites because of the utter craziness exhibited) and even a Muslim. 

But for all this UN-like multiculturalism, there appears one thing the ladies in the family have an aversion to and that’s Sri Lankan guys. This is especially true for the Sri Lankan girls who were born in Sri Lanka but have lived here for some time. And the aversion is also shared by a number of female acquaintances I have of Sri Lankan origin. I think it’s almost subconscious on some of their parts because they start bitching out the species in front of me and appear quite surprised when I, naturally, put my hand up and protest.

The sad truth is though, the reasons they give for their dislike seem to be true, that they are insecure and controlling. I personally have my doubts that this is a solely Sri Lankan attribute but I have seen a number of Sri Lankan guys who do fit the bill of controlling. They don’t like their girls dressing nice, going out by themselves, working, making more money than them or on some memorable occasions they attempt to hit you over the head with a pool cue for talking to them.

I’m a bit peeved with this though, both the generalization and the behaviour of the said chaps. For one thing the former means that a lot of brown girls simply dismiss me out of hand because I’m brown. Sure tell me to fuck off because I’m arrogant, cocky and have an inappropriate sense of humour (though this list is far from exhaustive) but at least let me piss you off with my attitude as opposed to the colour of my skin and the expectations that arise from it. 

Also I’m pissed with the guys, they need to chill out for one. I personally like an independent woman, one who works, has friends to hang out with and does her own thing. Primarily because I have so much crap going on in my life and don’t foresee that changing for the next couple of decades that I don’t have a lot of time to devote to a relationship. Also if she goes out with her mates then I can go out with my friends and I don’t really mind the gf flirting a bit, because then I can. 

The key element in a relationship is trust, she has to know that even though I may flirt (lets be honest, sometimes it helps getting stuff done, from getting tickets changed to real estate records recorded) I would never, ever do anything more (unless I run into Jessica Alba, then all bets are off), and I would expect the same for her. Else I wouldn’t be (hypothetically speaking) in the relationship. Also I prefer the girls I’m with looking sexy, for one thing I’m easily bored and the better she dresses the less I have to drink (I’m kidding, no I really am) and she can dance, flirt with anyone she wants, because at the end of the day she’d be coming home with me, while all the poor sods who thought they were getting some have to go home to their cold, lonely beds. The best part of course is that while she dances with some other guys that leaves me to have a chat with the buddies and try and deplete the national reserves of Reserve.

So in short I have two appeals, one is to the anal retentive guys (Sri Lankan and others), chill out…you’re giving guys like me a bad name and reducing my chances of getting hitched (or laid for that matter) to a nice brown girl. And to the girls, give a brown guy a break, I’m chill, I really am. Also I have absolutely, absolutely no problem with you making more money than I do…if you’re worried about that.