Tina with her tablas but sadly not with bare feet (courtesy her website)

The last time I tried to volunteer my erstwhile services things didn’t really go to plan. It was a Tsunami relief concert in the Bay Area and R and I had the bright idea of going and lending a hand to the Sri Lankan contingent there. Of course the night before we very responsibly got utterly trashed, talked crap to some fine ladies and ended up with about two hours sleep before the event. R could barely drive the next morning and I spilled coffee all over my only shirt, which to add insult to injury was a pristine white. 

Rolling up to R’s cousins place was an inauspicious start, I had never met C before and I think he was a bit befuddled by a vertically challenged Sri Lankan reeking of equal parts alcohol and coffee rolling up to his door and asking to borrow a shirt. This while R did a reasonable impression of a man breathing his last in the car. In the end all we could offer at the concert was some light lifting and drinking all their water, while staring wistfully at the profusion of cute Indian girls and trying to come up with something to say that didn’t involve throwing up all over them.

I think R and I cemented our reputation with C and his gang (though C I think has forgiven us because he’s a good mate now) when after spotting Tina Sughand playing the tables barefoot both of us broke in backstage looking for her. After considerable effort, being lost several times and dodging security guards (I tell you its all about confidence, walking in like you belong) there was a totally unbelievable moment. R turned to look behind him, stopped square in his tracks and nudged me so hard I currently have both my kidneys on my left hand side of my body. I turned around to see Tina walking by with her retinue. I think she was befuddled as well too see two brown guys standing there, looking very dodgy, with their mouths open wide (possibly drooling) and puppy dog eyes (I’m hoping). She did give us a sweet smile (though that may have been a hangover induced hallucination) to which I believe my reaction was my tongue dropping out and a thin stream of drool piddling out of the side of my mouth. I have not the foggiest idea as to how R reacted. 

I funnily enough can’t remember anything more of that day, just Tina playing her tablas with no shoes on. For the umpteenth time I regretted drinking so much, nothing ever good comes off it. I always end up on the roof of someone’s car, pissing FG off, passing out at a Denny’s or in this case missing the opportunity of a lifetime, to mack on possibly one of the sexiest people I have ever seen. Imagine I had full control of my facilities and had come up with an amazing line. I could be sitting watching Tina play her tablas all night long…sigh

P.S. A fantasy about getting it on with Tina Tabla was not the point of this post, which was in fact about a volunteer experience I had this weekend, but I’m too tired for now. Await part 2 of Volunteering and then there’s volunteering. I would say with bated breath but I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt themselves.