Yes I know its an old movie (relatively) but then I’m not that cool. And yes its been nominated for Academy Awards and all that trollop but here are my rather simple observations on watching what was indubitably an awesome film.

1.  Do not under any circumstances give your kid a gun, especially a high powered rifle. I don’t care how many jackals you have wandering around your backyard, kids wil be kids and wilk take a pot at some American tourist or some such. This will not end well, in fact you’ll be lucky if you don’t end up with a Apache chopper up your arse instead of a Moroccan bullet in the back.

2.  Wear a bullet proof vest when traveling in Morocco.

3.  Mexican people know how to party but don’t seem to drink as much tequila as one would expect, in fact I seem to drink more when I’m partying.

4.  Border guards, immigration officials are cunts. Actually I already knew this having experienced in full living colour at the French embassy in LA, resulting in my boycotting France for the next ten years.

5.  Again this like the gun point may seem like an obvious point but don’t under any circumstances get into a car with a drunk driver, unless said drunk driver is Bounty, P,  R or Chinky Pinky. But especially not with a drunk Mexican when one has to cross the American border, come on…that’s just asking for trouble.

6.  Morocco only seems to have one ambulance.

7.  Fat, white Brits who can’t seem to give up their colonial hangovers should get a punch in the snoot.

8.  The desert’s damn hot and red is not a becoming colour to wear in it.

9.  Your best friend hooking up with someone you fancy is never a good thing.

10. Japanese girls need to learn about trimmers and apparently don’t wear panties very often

11. Aforementioned Japanese girls and guys seem to have some rather odd mating rituals involving multi-coloured drugs, cheap whiskey in ridiculously small amounts and water fountains.

12. Japanese clubs seem to have as bad music as Sri Lankan clubs, though better light effects. I reckon this combined with some elements of numbers 10 and 11 might make a visit worthwile.

13. Being deaf would suck…and this to me is the most profound thing I learnt from Babel.

If you do want a more profound treatment about the movie check the original link, or skiddadle your mouse here. Me, I loved the movie, composition, colours, acting…all bloody marvelous. And of course it did feature a Japanese girl in a plaid skirt without knickers, bloody marvelous, I’ll say again.