Ane happuwa!

Ane aimath happuwa!? 

There I was at the Curry Bowl digging into the lunch buffet with N when A and some other chap charge in to inform me that someone had backed into my double parked car. Following them out with an indul hand, I found some fat, brown, hobag aunty looking at my bumper disconcertedly as if wondering how it got there. Following her gaze I noted one or two minute scratches and kindly, with the patience of Job enquired what in tarnation she did.

I just didn’t see your car 

It was with great self control that I didn’t ask the obvious question as to how in the name of fuck could she not note the fact that there was a great, big, black RAV4 right behind her considering that reversing involves looking in the goddamn rearview mirror. She looked so retarded and pathetic when she asked me if I could move my car so she could back up I didn’t have the heart to point out she had around 3 feet to get her minivan out if she actually bothered turning the steering wheel a bit.

I just smiled sweetly at her, fished my keys out with my left hand, the right still being covered with curry and reversed the car into a spot that had opened up, actually ended up reversing into the space at a ridiculous angle and had to put up with some ribald comments from A about my dodgy parking abilities (fuck you I was trying not to get curry over my car). The fucktarded aunty who had a fairly large bump in her fender shamefacedly sloped off. 

On entering the Curry Bowl I was informed with great joviality that she had actually backed into my car not once, but twice. That sort of amazed me, surely if one is backing up and hears a thud, what one does is stop, get out and check to see if there’s a toddler under your wheel.

NOT drive forward a bit and try and back up again to deliver the coup de grâce.