It’s really no contest; it used to be the fashionable thing to bitch about the Tube system back when I used to be a Londoner. This was especially so when you had to get into IC for an exam and the Circle Line appeared to be stuck somewhere between Oxford and Nottingham and the prospect of sticking your tongue on the middle rail became increasingly more attractive as the minutes ticked by. But here’s the crux of the matter, even if you had to wait around 16 hours for the next train at least the information board would let you know of that fact. A feature that was sadly lacking in the Metropolitan Transportation Authority Subway system in New York.

It honestly doesn’t look like the facilities in New York have been upgraded since the 1940’s. The Tube is positively genteel compared to the Subway right down to the delightful endearments to “mind the gap,” just in case you had any aspirations of slipping onto the track for a little nap. Those little things do really matter, like the railings on the Piccadilly line that provide you with room to place your luggage without having to crowd the exceptionally large, dangerous smelly looking Neanderthal sitting next to you. 

There is that amazingly intuitive tube map which is posted all over the place as well as innumerable signs giving you up-to-date information on service updates. There is unfortunately no such thing in the New York Subway, no screens to tell you when the next train is coming, if at all. It is all in all not the most intuitive public transport system in the world, causing me to lug my suitcase up and down several stairways in a desperate attempt to find the Airtrain (mostly due to some disingenuous information provided to me by someone who should have known better).

The Subway in New York is positively apocalyptic compared to the Underground. I only spent a little time on it and I would probably believe in vampires and werewolves if I had to ride some of those trains in the middle of the night. Also I would probably be traveling in the absolute wrong direction, which probably would not contribute to my mental wellbeing. So Londoners, be glad for the wonderful transport system you are blessed with, yes the Circle line may never be on time, which is odd since it runs in, well, a circle. But at least you won’t be drained off your blood while your last conscious thought is the sad realization that you are once again traveling in the wrong direction.

P.S. Lest I am accused of bias towards the British transport system I have to say the Singaporean MRT kicks the Tube’s ass, though it is around a much smaller area. And further on the subject of public transportation, while San Francisco’s Muni system rocks, the BART is only marginally less confusing than the NY Subway. It is not uncommon to see tourists wandering around exasperatedly in Embarcadero station muttering to themselves, “how the fuck do I get to the airport!?” before throwing themselves desperately over a railing.